humor

A FISHY TAIL

Boudreaux was stopped by a game warden in Southern Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, ma fren, I don need no license. Dese are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!"

"Ya. Avery night I take dese here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. I whistle and dey jump rat back into dese here ice chests and I take dem home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"

The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren, I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"

Boudreaux poured the fish in to the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" said the Cajun.

"When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH!"

"What fish?"

Thanks to Colin (Jaegermeister) Knight for this contribution

THE PIRATE

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seenyou in a while. What happened? You look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" Said the Pirate "I'm fine"

"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "we were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg, but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Oh yeah?" Said the bartender, "what about that hook where your hand used to be? The last time I saw you, you had both hands." "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great,really."

"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes." Well smiled the pirate "One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them doo-dooed in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird doo-doo!"

"It was my first day with the hook." Said the Pirate.

You remember sitting around a table with good friends. And the jokes started and went on and on. The jokes were so good you were certain you wouldn't forget them. But you did - we did. So I started scribbling key-words on napkins, coasters, any piece of paper I could get my hands on at the time so I would not forget. Here are some of the best. ALL CLEAN!!